"I had one bidder who won one of my auctions email me to tell be it was OK for me to "bill" PayPal. I couldn't seem to explain to him he had to "send" the money, I couldn't "take" it"

Actually you can send a payment request which is like billing through paypal. The buyer gets an email with a link on it. When he clicks on the link he is taken to paypal where all he has to do is enter his password and confirm that he wants tosend the payment.