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" I would like to make it entirely clear that the sole reason for Mr Tiger Woods leaving his home at 2.30am last Friday, was due to the fact that he had seen a flyer from his local Walmart offering 10% off all golf balls on that day only, which, of course, was Black Friday and the store was opening at 3am that morning for a special sale.
Mr Woods had just returned from playing a tournament in China, found he was low on golf balls, and decided on the spur of the moment to visit the store. Any saving he would have made he planned to place in the Salvation Army kettle, which he had been erroneously informed would be there at that time of morning.
I would also like to place on record that the great love and respect that Mr and Mrs Woods have for each other , and the fact that Mrs Woods was clutching a golf club in her hand when she ran out to her husband's car, was solely with the intention of her rescuing him from the damaged car.
The rumours that Mr Woods was on his way to visit a lady known to him, or that he had an appointment at the Happy Ending Massage Parlour in Orlando are entirely untrue, and Mr Woods is anxious to seek closure in this matter behind him and move on to concentrate on his golf."
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