My Dearest William,

Pay no attention to whatever e-mails you receive regarding your post. Have you ever thought of owning a 4700-Sq-ft. home in beautiful Loxahatchee West; on the Loxahatchee River, with a 40-ft dock and fully landscaped with towering, majestic palms? It is now all possible. Send me the chip and I'll send you the deed. Congratulations! You found the Granddady of all illegals.

John Bender