To one of my BESTEST friends, I wish you a wonderful day
And I send back to you, what you've sent to me (I love this!)....

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Tired of all those sissy-*ss poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendships:

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry b*stard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get (You big baby).

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.

6. When you are confused - I will use little words.

7. When you are sick - stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy *ss (feel free to do the same to me, I fall alot).

9. When you need a kidney - I will search the web for you.

Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body....Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel. Have shovel, can travel!