When giving directions in South Florida, you should always start out with the words: take I-95 or take I-75...

Some roads just stop for no reason and then start again. Get over it... Congress Ave, Lyons Road, Jog Road.

Two major highways go north and south. One goes east and west.

A1A and ALT A1A are the same streets.

Traffic lights aren't timed and never will be.

We measure the distance yo drive in time, not miles.

If you travel more than 5-10 miles on any road in South Florida without seeing an orange Bob's Barricade, you're lost.

If you miss your exit on I-75 or I-95, it's perfectly accepable to back up.

Once the light turns green, only 3 cars can go through the intersection; eight more go through on yellow and 4 on red.

Know the difference between Sun Pass, Sun Fest, Sun-Sentinal and Sun Trust.

Flip flops, tank tops and baggy shorts are also known as business casual.

Your blinker means nothing.

English is your second language.

It is perfectly acceptable to brag about the size of your generator.

It is totally acceptable to be living in South Florida but not root for The Dolphins, The Marlins, The Heat or The Panters.

We have alligators here in South Florida and they WILL eat you. Don't be stupid and try to feed or pet them.

Clematis is a street, not a disease,

When a hurricane is headed our way, even though you have advanced warning and you are told to be prepared, you're not a true Floridian unless you wait until the absolute last minute to go to Home Depot to pick up plywood or to Wal-Mart to stock up on water, ice, beer and potato chips.

It's important you know how to spell Okeechobee.

Do NOT buy a boat. Make friends with someone who already has one.

There's always a Walgreens across the street from a CVS on almost every corner with more being built every day.

Jupiter and Juno are both cities, not planets.

There are three types of dolphins: Mahi-mahi, Flipper, and also one called a football team.

You can't say; "this is how we did it up north." If you think that way, then go back.

No matter what they decide in Tallahassee, you will never, ever be able to figure out your property taxes.

Learn how to dress in layers. It will be 97 degrees outside, but inside any restaurant or business it's 65 degrees.

There are tree things you will need to survive in a South Florida winter: A long sleeved T-shirt, sunscreen and restaurant resevations that you make at least three weeks in advance.

JB