Satan: "Why so glum?"
Guy: "Why do you think? I'm in hell!"
Satan: "Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a drinking man?"
Guy: "Sure, I love to drink."
Satan: "Well you're going to love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab and fresca. And we don't worry about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway."
Guy: "Gee, that sounds great!"
Satan: "You a smoker?"
Guy: "You better believe it!"
Satan: "All right! You're going to love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie, you're already dead, remember?"
Guy: "Wow, that's awesome!"
Satan: "I bet you like to gamble."
Guy: "Why yes, as a matter of fact I do."
Satan: "'Cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt... you're dead anyhow."
Guy: "WOW! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!"
Satan: "You gay?"
Guy: "Hell, no!"
Satan: "Hm, you gonna hate Fridays then!"
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