Because of misunderstandings that frequently develop when East Coasters and Californians cross states such as Illinois, Ohio, Indiana, Wisconsin,
Nebraska, Kansas, Iowa, Michigan, Missouri, Minnesota, North Dakota, and South Dakota, those states' Tourism Councils have adopted a set of informal information guidelines. In an effort to help outsiders understand the Midwest, the following list will be handed to each driver entering the state:

1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work before
breakfast than you do all week at the gym.

2. It's called a 'gravel road'. No matter how slow you drive, you're going
to get dust on your car.

3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years old. Yeah,
we saw Bambi. We got over it.

4. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us if a
flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a name for those
little trout you fish for...bait.

5. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot. If we wanted to see the
Grand Canyon, we would go there!!

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are making their
final approach, we will shoot it! You might hope you don't have it up to
your ear at the time.

7. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order steak. Order
it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the two pounds of
ham and turkey.

8. You bring Coke into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served
over ice.

9. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on weekends? We're
real impressed... We have a quarter-million dollar combine that we only use
two weeks a year.

10. Let's get this straight - We have one stoplight in town. We stop
when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.

11. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks--because they want to. So,
you're a feminist... Isn't that cute...

12. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too--and turtle. You really want sushi
and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.

13. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it. Don't like
it? Interstates 70, 80, & 90 go two ways--Interstates 29, 35, & 69 go the
other two. Pick one and use it accordingly.

14. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.

15. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly.
Understand the concept?

16. Yeah, we have golf courses. Just don't hit in the water hazard. It
spooks our fish.

17. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving
like an idiot, his name is "Sir". No matter how old he is.

18. The bill on your hat should turn down at the edges to shed the rain
and be centered over your nose to keep the sunlight out of your eyes. Any
other location/orientation makes you look like an idiot.

19. We also speak ENGLISH here, speak it or go away.