>>Our Children Sure View the World Differently - Don't They?

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>1) NUDITY

>I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening

>when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.

>She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my

>5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't

>wearing a seat belt!"

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>2) OPINIONS

>On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note

>from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this

>child are not necessarily those of his parents."

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>3) KETCHUP

>A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her

>struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to

>answer the phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right

>now. She's hitting the bottle."

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>4) MORE NUDITY

>A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's

>locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks,

>with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy

>watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever

>seen a little boy before?"

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>5) POLICE # 1

>While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was

>interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at

>my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and

>continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed

>help I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told

>her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me,

>"would you please tie my shoe?"

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>6) POLICE # 2

>It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the

>station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was

>barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog

>you've got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the

>boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he

>said, "What'd he do?"

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>7) ELDERLY

>While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly and

>disabled, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon

>rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances

>of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I

>found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I

>braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned

>and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

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>8) DRESS-UP

>A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw

>her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't

>wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always

>gives you a headache the next morning. "

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>9) DEATH

>While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister

>heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.

>Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead

>robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had

>secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made

>ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen

>to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his

>version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the

>Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he goooes."

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>10) SCHOOL

>A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just

>wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't

>write and they won't let me talk!"

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>11) BIBLE

>A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he

>fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of

>the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was

>an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look

>what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?"

>With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's

>Adam's underwear."

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