.
.
Dragnet, a scholarly gentleman who lives southeast, sent this one...
.
.

One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife.

The shop owner suggested a parrot in the store, named Chet, that could sing famous Christmas carols.

This seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly.

"Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet." was the shop owner's reply.

To demonstrate, the shop owner held a lighted match under the parrot's left foot. Chet began to sing: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ..."

The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune changed, and the air was filled with: " Silent Night, Holy Night..."

The young man was so impressed that he paid the shop-keeper and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm.

When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed. "How beautiful!" She exclaimed, "Can he talk?"

"No," the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you."

So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot, as the shop-keeper had shown him, and Chet crooned: "Jingle Bells! Jingle bells!..."

The man then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came: "Silent Night, Holy night..."

The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the lighter between his legs?"

The man did not know. "Let's try it," he answered, eager to please his wife. So they held the lighter between Chet's legs.

Chet twisted his feathery little face, cleared his throat, and began singing out loudly like it was the performance of his life:

"Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire..."
.
.