Jaybee, a pinochle player from out west, sent this one...

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches up to the counter and says, "Hi... I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter looks at him and says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all your clothes."

Pausing for breath, the social worker continued, "Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a 2 bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year."

The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullsh!ttin' me!"

The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it."