"Recently, I was walking my dog around my building...on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights...not me...I'm afraid of widths"

"Accidently tried to unlock my front door with my car key and the building started up....so I took it for a spin. I got pulled over by the cops, and when they asked where do you live, I said right here."

"If you drove your car at the speed of light, and turned on your headlights would anything happen?"

"I spilled spot remover on my dog..now he's gone"

"Got home late one night and had no electricity in the house. Good thing my camera had a flash. I went into the kitchen to make a sandwich, and took 47 pictures of my kitchen."

Just a few of my Steven Wright favorites.

Cheers,
Glenn, WI
"The Cheesehead Chipper"