Credit for this one goes to Jaybee, a friend from out west...

A very genteel southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man who was preparing to jump.

She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said: "Please don't jump, young man. Think of your dear mother and father."

He replied: "Mom and Dad are both dead - I'm going to jump."

She said: "Well, think of your wife and children."

He replied: "I'm not married and I don't have any kids."

She said: "Well then, think of Robert E. Lee."

He replied: "Who the hell is Robert E. Lee?"

She replied: "Well bless your heart, just go ahead and jump, you dumbass Yankee."