Steve wrote: the only common thread being that I suck at both

What??!?!?!?! I beg to differ. Out of the past 21 Road-to-the-WSOP Chipboard tournaments you have cashed in 8 of them. Oh wait a minute... You even skipped out one week. So that makes you winning $$$ in 8 of 20 tournaments or 40% of the time. You must be doing something right my friend.