You forgot Step-Children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young. (and Fathers)

Alternate version:

"Because I am your Father and I said so!"
You aren't my Father!
"OK I'm your adult Male parental unit!"
You aren't my Father
"I'm trying to help you and I support you."
You aren't my Father
"I'm not your Mother either, but we agree about this."
You aren't my Father
"Nevermind..."
See you don't care about me.
"I care about you. Just eat the apple and leave me alone."
Why, is there something wrong with the apple?
"No, I asked you not to eat it, but you want to, so just eat it"
No I'm not going to eat it, you want me to eat it.
"OK do what you want."
I'm just a latchkey kid, I'm going to run away.
"If you were 18 I'd buy you a ticket!"