Damn, It's Good To Be A Man!
>> >
>> >     Your last name stays put.
>> >
>> >     The garage is all yours.
>> >
>> >     Wedding plans take care of themselves.
>> >
>> >     Chocolate is just another snack.
>> >
>> >     You can be president.
>> >
>> >     You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
>> >
>> >     Car mechanics tell you the truth.
>> >
>> >     You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
>> >
>> >     The world is your urinal.
>> >
>> >     You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too tacky.
>> >
>> >     Same work... more pay.
>> >
>> >     Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
>> >
>> >     People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
>> >
>> >     The occasional well-rendered belch or fart is practically expected.
>> >
>> >     New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
>> >
>> >     Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
>> >
>> >     One mood, ALL the damn time.
>> >
>> >     Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
>> >
>> >     You know stuff about tanks.
>> >
>> >     A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
>> >
>> >     You can open all your own jars.
>> >
>> >     Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.
>> >
>> >     You can leave the motel bed unmade.
>> >
>> >     You can kill your own food.
>> >
>> >     You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
>> >
>> >     If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
>> >
>> >     Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
>> >
>> >     If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
>> >
>> >     Everything on your face stays its original color.
>> >
>> >     Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
>> >
>> >     You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
>> >
>> >     You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me."
>> >
>> >     You don't mooch off other's desserts.
>> >
>> >     You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
>> >
>> >     You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
>> >
>> >     You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
>> >
>> >     The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
>> >
>> >     You don't have to shave below your neck.
>> >
>> >     Your belly usually hides your big hips.
>> >
>> >     One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
>> >
>> >     You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
>> >
>> >     You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
>> >
>> >     You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on
>> >     December 24th, in 45 minutes.
>> >
>> >     Damn, It's Good To Be A Man