Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.

> He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an

> email he sent to his sister. She then sent it to "The X" 103.2 FM in

> Ft Wayne IN, who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest.

> > >

> Needless to say, she won.

>

> Hi Sue,

>

> Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a

> bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,

> so

> I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's

> not

> so bad after all.

> Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with

> a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the

> bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This

> time of

> year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: we

> have a

> diesel powered industrial water heater.

> This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It

> heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the

> diver

> through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

> Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times

> with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start

> working,

> is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods

> my

> whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

> Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to

> itch.

> So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a

> few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my

> back,

> but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The

> hot

> water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

> Now since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't

> stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When

> I

> scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the

> jellyfish into my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma

> over the communicator.

> His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with 5

> other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I

> aborted the

> dive. I was instructed to make 3 agonizing in-water decompression

> stops totaling 35 minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my

> chamber dry decompression.

> When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass

> helmet.

> As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter

> running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it

> on my

> butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

> The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for 2 days because my

> butthole was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at

> work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish

> shoved

> up your butt.

> > >

> Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my

> job..."