Toni,
I lost both of my parents within eights months of each other. The hard part for me was the second parent (my mom). I live 2000 miles from them. When I visited my mom for mothers day (her birthday)I knew when I was leaving that it probably was the last time I would see her. That was painful. However, I personally choose to remember not her death, but rather, the good times and the positive influence she was in my life. I dwell on the good memories. That seems to help but every day they both are still in my thoughts. I recently had a good friend who lost a 19 year old daughter. That has to be more difficult than losing a parent. As I said to my friend I would like to think I know how you feel having lost both my parents just recently but I don't. We all expect to lose our parents but no one expects to lose a child before they die. Nothing I can say will make the pain go away but only time will help you learn to live with it. Remember the good things about her and the joy she brought to you. Those memories are forever.