I'm not really a bad chef. In fact, I've received compliments on my turkey dinners over the years. But, almost every year, something AWFUL happens when I try to prepare it all. There was the year that I dropped the turkey on the kitchen floor. And the time a vacuum-packed Stuffing bag popped open, sending dry stuffing rocketing all across the kitchen (I was finding stray crumbs for about a year afterward). And the year the turkey wasn't defrosted enough to stuff.

So . . . this year I come out wearing a nice, clean T-shirt and begin preparations. Made it a point not to get anything wet on me that would stain the shirt. Mix the stuffing while it's still dry. Chop up some celery, carrots, onion, ginger root and cook the giblets very carefully, so as not to splash any liquid on my shirt. Ho-kay . . . time to open the turkey and start stuffing.

I carefully cut and peel away the outer plastic bag around the bird. Yes, all sano . . . lift up turkey and . . .
SQUIRRRRRT! My shirt is now covered with turkey blood! There was a little hole in the plastic bag and the juices shot out like a geyser. A replay of the Automatic Transmission Fluid Debacle of a few months back!!!

Now I'll be looking for a new shirt on Black Friday. And not the least bit sad about roasting Mr. Wise Guy Turkey for 5 hours. Grrrrrrr!

Despite all this - hope everyone has a happy holiday!!!