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Groaners ~ Part II

Many years ago, in the south pacific, there was a small island kingdom
that was ruled by a kind and benevolent King. Each year, on the King's
birthday, the residents of the island gave the King a new throne as token
of their love and respect for him. And each year, the King would put last
years gift up in the attic of his small house. After many years of ruling
the island, the weight of the large number of birthday presents stored
up in the attic became too heavy and caused the house to fall down.
The moral of the story is that people in grass houses shouldn't stow
thrones.
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A man was eating in a fancy restaurant, and there was a gorgeous
woman eating at the next table. He had been checking her out all night,
but lacked the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezed and her
glass eye went flying out of her socket towards the man. With his quick
reflexes, he caught it in mid-air.

"Oh my god, I'm sooooo sorry," the woman said as she popped her eye
back into its socket. "Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you."

They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman
offered to drive him home.

"But it's over an hour out of your way," the man said. "Are you sure
you don't mind?"

"Not at all," she said. "I'm looking forward to it."

The guy was amazed and flattered. "You know, you're the perfect
woman," he said. "Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replied, "you just happened to catch my eye!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut
daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and
would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One
afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender
was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking
quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and
set it on the bar.

The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and
exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!"

"No, I'm sorry, "replied the bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri, doc."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~