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This one arrived from two regions, sent by Abie from the East
Coast and Huck Finn from the Midwest, regarding a can of paint...

A newlywed couple wanted to join a church.

The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new and
proposed parishioners. You must abstain from sex for an entire
month."

The couple agreed but after two-and-a-half weeks, were forced to
return to the church.

When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying,
and the husband obviously was very depressed.

"You are back so soon...Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired.

"We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain
from sex for the required month," the young man replied sadly.

The pastor asked him what happened.

"Well, the first week was difficult; however, we managed to abstain
through sheer will power. The second week was terrible, but with the
use of prayer, we managed to abstain. The third week, however, was
unbearable. We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible,
anything to keep our minds free of carnal thoughts. But one afternoon,
my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over
to pick it up, I noticed that she didn't have her undies on and I was
overcome with lust and I had my way with her, right then and there,"
admitted the man, shamefacedly.

"You understand this means you will not be welcome into our church,"
stated the pastor.

"We know," said the young man, hanging his head, "We're not welcome
at Home Depot anymore, either."
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