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Should I really join Facebook?

A good laugh for people in the over 50 group and perhaps their kids too!

When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees,
all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook
and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses,
13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I
could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon,
Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my
cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except for the bowel
movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone
in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then
going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the
Blue tooth [it’s red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing
in line at Barnes & Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at
me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the
most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would very
sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she
could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn
at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship.

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while
she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house.
We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all
at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the
dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the
grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden
"Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those
cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?” I just say, "Doesn't matter
to me, I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, "No, but I do toot a lot."

P.S. I know some of you are not over 50. I posted this to allow you to forward it to those who
are. We senior citizens don't need anymore gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door
remote are about all we can handle.
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