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A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one.

Traffic Cop: Don't have one?

Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Traffic Cop: Hmmm. I see... Can I see your vehicle registration
papers please?

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Traffic Cop: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Traffic Cop: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Traffic Cop: You did what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you
want to see

The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car
while calling for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.
A senior officer very slowly approaches the car, while clasping his
half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car
and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The traffic cop is quite stunned.

Officer 2: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license quizzically.

Officer 2: Thank you, ma'am, but I am puzzled. I was told by my
officer here that you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and
that you murdered and hacked up the owner!

Older Woman: Bet the lying basterd told you I was speeding, too.

The Moral? Don't mess with mature ladies!