I'm not a golfer but this didn't keep me from laughing
and I hope my golfing friends will get a kick out of it too.

A man was walking down the street when
he was accosted by a particularly dirty and
shabby-looking homeless man who asked him
for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars
and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy
some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago,"
the homeless man replied.

"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course
instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man.
"I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you money.
Instead, I'm going to take you home for a hot shower
and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded.
"Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see
what a man looks like after he has given up drinking and golf."

No Offense to Drinkers, Golfers, Men, Women, or Anyone Else.