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> IF YOU'RE REALLY FROM NEW YORK YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONCEPT OF WHERE NORTH AND SOUTH ARE.... IT'S "UPTOWN" OR "DOWNTOWN." AND EAST OR WEST IS "CROSS-TOWN."
> YOU'RE 35 YEARS OLD AND DON'T HAVE A DRIVER'S LICENSE.
> YOU RIDE IN A SUBWAY CAR WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING JUST BECAUSE THERE ARE SEATS AVAILABLE.
> YOU TAKE THE TRAIN HOME AND YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHERE ON THE PLATFORM THE DOORS WILL OPEN THAT WILL LEAVE YOU RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE EXIT STAIRWAY.
> YOU KNOW WHAT A "REGULAR" COFFEE IS.
> IT'S NOT MANHATTAN ; IT'S THE "CITY."
> YOU CROSS THE STREET ANYWHERE BUT ON THE CORNERS AND YOU YELL AT CARS FOR NOT RESPECTING YOUR RIGHT TO DO IT.
> YOU MOVE 3,000 MILES AWAY, SPEND 10 YEARS LEARNING THE LOCAL LANGUAGE AND PEOPLE STILL KNOW YOU'RE FROM BROOKLYN OR THE BRONX THE MINUTE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
> YOU RETURN AFTER 10 YEARS AND THE FIRST FOODS YOU WANT ARE A "REAL" PIZZA AND A "REAL" BAGEL.
> A 500 SQUARE FOOT APARTMENT IS LARGE.
> YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN ALL THE DIFFERENT RAY'S PIZZAS.
> YOU ARE NOT UNDER THE MISTAKEN IMPRESSION THAT ANY HUMAN BEING WOULD BE ABLE TO ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND A P.A. ANNOUNCEMENT ON THE SUBWAY.
> YOU WOULDN'T BOTHER ORDERING PIZZA IN ANY OTHER CITY..
> YOU GET READY TO ORDER DINNER EVERY NIGHT AND MUST CHOOSE FROM THE MAJOR FOOD GROUPS WHICH ARE: CHINESE, ITALIAN, MEXICAN OR INDIAN.
> YOU WOULDN'T EVEN CONSIDER BEING IN TIMES SQUARE ON NEW YEAR'S EVE.
> YOUR INTERNAL CLOCK IS PERMANENTLY SET TO KNOW WHEN ALTERNATE SIDE OF THE STREET PARKING REGULATIONS ARE IN EFFECT.
> YOU KNOW WHAT A BODEGA IS.
> SOMEONE BUMPS INTO YOU, AND YOU CHECK FOR YOUR WALLET.
> YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE THE LADY WALKING DOWN THE ROAD HAVING A PERFECTLY NORMAL CONVERSATION WITH HERSELF.
> YOU PAY "ONLY" $230 A MONTH TO PARK YOUR CAR.
> YOU CRINGE AT HEARING PEOPLE PRONOUNCE HOUSTON ST. LIKE THE CITY IN TEXAS.
> THE PRESIDENTIAL VISIT IS A MAJOR TRAFFIC JAM, NOT AN HONOR.
> YOU CAN NAP ON THE SUBWAY AND NEVER MISS YOUR STOP.
> THE DELI GUY GIVES YOU A STRAW WITH ANY BEVERAGE YOU BUY, EVEN IF IT'S A BEER.
THAT'S NEW YORK, BABY! YA GOTTA LOVE IT.
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