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The Squirrels vs. Religion

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about
their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded
the squirrels were predestined to be there and that they shouldn't
interfere with God's Divine Will.

At the Baptist church the squirrels had taken an interest in the
baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on
the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels
liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so
twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm
any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and
set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the squirrels
were back when the Baptists took down the water slide.

But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They
baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the
church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first
squirrel and circumcised him. They haven't seen a squirrel since.