.
.
The discerning and astute Revenoor, from the wilds out west, sent
this pair of jokes that remind us that there are many similarities
between Jewish and Italian mothers...

JEWISH MOTHER

The year is 2020 and the United States has elected the first woman as
well is the first Jewish president, Susan Goldstein.

She calls up her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says, "So,
Mom, I assume you'll be coming to my inauguration?"

"I don't think so. It's a ten hour drive, your father isn't as young as he
used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again."

"Don't worry about it Mom, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and
take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your door."

"I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy schmantzy, what on earth
would I wear?"

Susan replies, "I'll make sure you have a wonderful gown custom-made
by the best designer in New York."

"Honey," Mom complains, "you know I can't eat those rich foods you
and your friends like to eat."

The President-to-be responds, "Don't worry Mom. The entire affair is
going to be handled by the best caterer in New York; kosher all the
way. Mom, I really want you to come."

So Mom reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2021, Susan Goldstein
is being sworn in as President of the United States.

In the front row sits the new President's mother, who leans over to a
senator sitting next to her and says, "You see that woman over there
with her hand on the Torah, becoming President of the United States?"

The Senator whispers back, "Yes, I do."

Mom says proudly, "Her brother is a doctor."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ITALIAN MOTHER

Giuseppe excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is
going to get married.

He says, "Just for fun, Mama, I'm going to bring over three women
and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."

The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house, sits
them down on the couch and they chat for a while.

He then says, "Okay, Mama, guess which one I'm going to marry?"

Mama says immediately, "The one on the right."

"That's amazing, Mama. You're right. How did you know?"

Mama replies: "I don't like her."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

.
.