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A few groaners...

Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid
bowlers. However, all of the league records were unfortunately
destroyed in a fire.Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
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A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think
I'm shrinking!"
The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to
be a little patient."
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A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins
that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One
day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some
more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid
to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them.
Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls
across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
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And of course, this one...

A man goes to a psychiatrist and tells him he thinks he's a dog. The
shrink asks him how long he's had this thought and the man replied,
"Ever since I was a puppy."
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