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An oldie for sure, but one of my favorites...

April Fools Trial

Defense Attorney: What is your age?

Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened
to you?

Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front
porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping
up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner
passed away some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: Because his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited.
I haven't felt that good in years!!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just laid down and
said to him, "Take me... young man... Take me!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Woman: Hell no! He just yelled "April Fool" and that's when I
shot the little basterd.
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