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I used to think I was just a regular guy, but...

I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not,
makes me a racist.

I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today's
standards, makes me a fascist.

I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks, now
makes me a homophobic.

I am a Christian, which now labels me as an infidel.

I believe in the 2nd Amendment, which now makes
me a member of the vast gun lobby.

I am older than 62, which makes me a quite useless
old man.

I think and I reason, therefore I doubt very much that
the main stream media tells me, which must make
me a reactionary.

I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American
culture, which makes me a xenophobe.

I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate
the police and the legal system, which makes me a
right-wing extremist.

I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation
according to each individual's merits, which today
makes me an anti-socialist.

I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland
for and by all citizens, which now makes me a militant.

Recently, very sick old woman called me and my friends
a “basket of deplorables.”

Please help me come to terms with the new me...
because I'm just not sure who I am anymore! I would
like to thank all my friends for sticking with me through
these abrupt, new-found changes in my life and my way
of thinking!

I just can't imagine or understand what's happened to
me so quickly!

Funny... it's all just taken place over the last 7 or 8 years!

As if all this wasn't enough to deal with, I'm now afraid
to go into either restroom!

In God We Trust.

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