.
.
I received this one from two different parts of the US - Huck Finn,
from the Upper Midwest and Abie from a bit southwest of Boston...

Three golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven.

Upon arrival they discover the most beautiful golf course they
have ever seen.

St. Peter tells them that they are all welcome to play the course,
but he cautions them that there is only one rule: Don't hit the
ducks during your first three months here.

The men all have blank expressions, and finally one of them asks,
"The ducks?"

"Yes," St. Peter replies, "There are thousands of ducks walking
around the course, and if one gets hit, he quacks, then the one
next to him quacks and soon they're all quacking to beat the
band. It really breaks the tranquility. So, if you hit one of the
'ducks, you'll be punished. Otherwise everything else is yours
to enjoy.”

Upon entering the course, the men noted that there were indeed
large numbers of ducks everywhere.

Within fifteen minutes, one of the guys hit a duck. The duck quacks,
the one next to it quacked and soon here was a deafening roar of
duck quacks.

St. Peter walked up with an extremely homely woman in tow and
asks, "Who hit the duck?"

The guy who had done it admitted, "I did.”

St. Peter immediately pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the
man's right hand to the homely woman's left hand.

"I told you not to hit the ducks," he said. Now you'll be handcuffed
together for eternity.”

The other two men were very cautious not to hit any ducks, but a
couple of weeks later, one of them accidentally did. The quacks
were as deafening as before, and within minutes St. Peter walked
up with an even uglier woman. He cuffed the man's right hand to
the homely woman's left hand.

"I told you not to hit the ducks," he said; "Now you'll be handcuffed
together for eternity.”

The third man was extremely careful. Some days he wouldn't even
play for fear of even nudging a duck. After three months, he still
hadn't hit a duck.

St. Peter walked up to the man at the end of the three months, and
had with him a knock-out, gorgeous woman - the most beautiful
woman the man had ever seen. St. Peter smiled at the man and
then, without a word, handcuffed him to the beautiful woman and
walked off.

The man, knowing that he would be handcuffed to this beautiful
woman for eternity, let out a contented sigh and said aloud,
"I wonder what I did to deserve this?"

The beautiful woman responds, "I don't know about you, but
I hit a duck."
.

.
.