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El Lobo Reservado, a sagacious gentleman from out west, sent this one...

The Lone Ranger was arrested in Lone Pine, California today for the crime
of illegally transferring silver bullets. The famed masked man had just
apprehended an armed felon after shooting the gun out of his hand. As
was his practice for the last eighty years, he gave a silver bullet to the
outlaw’s victim.

She was a kindly old widow who was robbed and held captive by the
desperado. This lady, grateful that her life and property were restored,
treasured the silver bullet as a symbol that justice was done.

The trouble started when she showed the bullet to her weekly garden
club. Upon seeing the gleaming memento, one lady fainted. Another
lady gasped that they were all going to die. A third lady, who was also
a member of CHA (California Hysterics Anonymous), warned that where
there was a bullet there had to be a gun. During the shocked silence an
attendee desperately summoned the Sheriff on her cell phone.

When the Sheriff heard their story he struggled to stifle a laugh. He knew
the old gentleman on the big white horse. He also appreciated how many
criminals the Lone Ranger had captured over the years. However, since
California voters passed Proposition 63, he had to uphold the law.

Predictably, he found the masked man enjoying a Near Beer at the Dry
Gulch Saloon back in town.

“Thanks for helping old widow Smith,” he said, “but did you really give
her a silver bullet?”

“Yes,” replied the Lone Ranger, “after all that’s my trademark. Got a
problem with that?”

“Well, yes,” hesitated the sheriff. “Ya see…under Proposition 63, you’ve
got to be a licensed firearms dealer to give anyone a bullet.”

“Are you kidding?”, asked the Lone Ranger.

“Wish I was,” said the embarrassed sheriff, “and to boot whoever receives
the bullet has to be registered with the Department of Justice.”

“Holy guacamole!”, exclaimed the masked man. “Did I do anything else
wrong?”

“Well,” said the sheriff, looking even more sheepish now, “there’s the
little matter of you shooting a gun out of the outlaw’s hand.”

“What!”, said the Lone Ranger. “If I hadn’t done that, the skunk would
have plugged me for sure.”

“I know that,” admitted the Sheriff, “but he’ll probably sue you for failing
to retreat and using unnecessary force. If they convict you, they’ll take
your six-shooters away for good. Which reminds me, according to California
law, your pistols have too large a capacity. If I were you, I’d convert those
six-shooters into five-shooters as quick as you can.”

“Jumpin’ Junipers!”, exclaimed the Lone Ranger. “I’d better tell this to my
faithful Indian companion, Tonto.”

“Hold on,” said the Sheriff. “I need to remind you that Indians are now
referred to as Native Americans. We privileged male pale faces have got
to remember that.”

As the Lone Ranger sat in shocked silence, the sheriff explained his rights
and proceeded to take him in.

Postscript:
Upon being provided an attorney at state expense, the outlaw successfully
sued the Lone Ranger. He claimed that he could no longer work since he
had suffered the permanent loss of his trigger finger. Lt. Governor Gavin
Newsom urged imposing the maximum sentence for possession of illegal
ammunition and a firearm that exceeds lawful capacity. He received a
huge monetary award, forcing the Lone Ranger to sell the silver mine.

Tonto was deemed innocent but victimized by virtue of being a member
of an oppressed minority. He was given land by the state and now
operates a very profitable casino.

After getting out of jail, the Lone Ranger could not find a job since he
was now an ex-con. Fortunately, Tonto lets him do light janitorial work
at the casino and sleep in the basement.

Following the passage of Proposition 63, violent crime in California has
steadily increased. Lt. Governor Newsom advises troubled property
owners to protect themselves by posting signs that say:
Keep Out—Gun Free Zone Lawyer on Call
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