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The somewhat shy and retiring Abie sent this one about a cheating
husband...

One day, a wife came home early and found her husband in their
bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. Naturally,
she was very upset.

“You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me!
I’m a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want
a divorce right away!”

The husband replied, “Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell
you what happened.”

“Go ahead,” she sobbed, “but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!”

So the husband began, “Well, I was getting into the car to drive home,
and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and
out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I
noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty.

She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days. So, in my compassion,
I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I'd made for you last
night. The ones that you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on
weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments!

Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she
was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw
them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans
that you have had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they
are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary
present, which you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste. I found t
he sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t wear just
to annoy her and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive
boutique and don’t wear because someone at work has a pair the same.”

The husband took a quick breath and continued, “She was so grateful for
my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned
to me with tears in her eyes and said… Do you have anything else that
your wife doesn’t use?”
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