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A Southern Divorce

A judge was interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending
divorce and asks, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

"About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with
a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick, and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle and 12 cousins living here in town, as well as
my husband's parents."

The judge took a deep breath and asked, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No, we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one cuz
we don't have a car."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily
like the music - all that hip hop and rap tap - but we can't seem to do
anything about it."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes, he gets up every morning before I do and makes the coffee."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce,
my husband does. The damn fool says he can't communicate with me."
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