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Two oldies, but still give a chuckle...

A blonde dies and reaches the pearly gates of heaven and meets
Saint Peter...

He first tells her that the only way she can get through the gates
is to pass a quite simple test.

"What is the Son Of God's name?" he asks.

She thinks for a minute, rubbing her chin in deep thought.

"Andy!" She bursts out with a gleaming smile.

"No, I'm sorry that is incorrect, whatever made you say that?"
he asks.

She starts singing: "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me,
Andy tells me... "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

An Alabama pastor addressed his congregation, ""Someone in this
congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.
This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot
tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now,
I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from
God and this Christian family."

No one moved.

The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and
admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in
your heart you will feel glory. Now please stand and confess your
transgression."

Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would
stop a runaway train rose from the third pew.

Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend,
there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a
member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that
you were a wizard under the sheets."

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation
roared.
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