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With 2016 on the halfway point, it's always good to reflect upon our
goals for this year...

My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds … only 15 to go.

Ate salad for dinner … Mostly croutons & tomatoes ...
Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce ... A
nd cheese ... FINE, it was a pizza ... I ate a pizza!

How to prepare Tofu:
1. Throw it in the trash.
2. Grill some Meat.

I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

I don't mean to brag but … I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours
and 20 minutes ...

A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live
longer than men who mention it ...

Kids today don't know how easy they have it ... when I was young,
I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

Senility has been a smooth transition for me ...

Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below
zero out they closed school? Me neither.

I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or
talented … I forgot where I was going with this.

I love being over 60 … I learn something new every day … and
forget 5 others

A thief broke into my house last night … He started searching for
money … so I woke up and searched with him.

My dentist told me I need a crown … I said, “You bet, pour mine
over rocks.”

I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and
call it a day.

"Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed."
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