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The somewhat shy and retiring Abie, who lives a bit southwest, sent this one on
the subject of being politically correct...

New Political Correctness

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, residents
of Kentucky, Tennessee, North Carolina and West Virginia will no longer be
referred to as 'HILLBILLIES' and/or 'REDNECKS.' You must now refer to them
as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
2. She is not 'EASY' - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a LIGHT-HAIRED, DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.
5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a LOW-COST PROVIDER.

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN
STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is IN FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He does not act like a 'BUTTHEAD' - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
INVERSION.
6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants - It’s TROUSER CLEAVAGE.
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