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Why DID the Chicken Cross the Road?

DONALD TRUMP: We will build a big wall to keep illegal chickens from
crossing the road. We will have a door for legal chickens.

JOHN KERRY: We will trust the chicken to tell us whether it crossed the
road or not.

CHRIS CHRISTIE: We need to waterboard that chicken to find out why it
crossed the road.

RAND PAUL: It's none of our business why the chicken crossed the road.

NANCY PELOSI: We will have to wait until the chicken crosses the road
to see what it says.

CARLY FIORINA: Hilary Clinton lied about why the chicken crossed the
road.

BRIAN WILLIAMS: I crossed the road with the chicken.

BEN CARSON: This isn't brain surgery. So why did the chicken cross the
road?

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's
a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their
eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the
road to surrender her eggs. Period.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the
chicken crossed the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the
road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or
not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle
ground here.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of
the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of
the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid
he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding
any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems,
which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of
having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which
is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that
he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest
of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken,
but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side
of the road.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough for us.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2016, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and
balance your checkbook.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the
road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
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