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Dragnet, a most perspicacious gentleman who lives a bit southwest, sent
this collection on the subject of wisdom. Funny, just about everyone who
sends me humor that I post here, unless they live in Maine or Canada,
lives somewhat southwest of me.

Points of Wisdom

The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you
can be in a robe... before you start looking like a mental patient.

My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations.
I'm pretty sure she was hitting on me.

My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I'm worried about
the 175 lbs I've gained since then.

I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just
give you a bra and say, Here, fill this out?

The speed with which a woman says nothing when asked What's wrong?
...is inversely proportional to the severity of the crap storm that's coming.

Denny's has a slogan, If it's your birthday, the meal is on us. If you're in
Denny's and it's your birthday, your life sucks!

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple "Thank you" is all I need...not all
this, "How did you get into my house" business!

The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. Pretty sure she's
going to get me something.

On average, an American man will have sex two to three times a week.
Whereas, a Japanese man will have sex only one or two times a year.
This is very upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.

I can't understand why women are okay that JC Penney has a line of
older women's clothing line named, Sag Harbor.

I think it's pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely
out of tattoos.

What is it about a car that makes people think we can't see them pick
their noses?

Money can't buy happiness but it keeps the kids in touch!

The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody
was married...Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer,
Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara ... and, of course,
Opie--all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed
drunk all the time.
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