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Another one from the files of the discerning and astute Revenoor,
on the subject of parents...

JEWISH, ITALIAN AND IRISH PARENTS

JEWISH MOTHER (A GEM)
The year is 2020 and the United States has elected the first woman
as well as the first Jewish president, Susan Goldstein.

She calls up her mother a few weeks after Election Day and says,
"So, Mom, I assume you'll be coming to my inauguration?"

"I don't think so. It's a ten-hour drive, your father isn't as young as
he used to be, and my arthritis is acting up again."

"Don't worry about it, Mom, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up
and take you home. And a limousine will pick you up at your door."

"I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy-schmantzy; what on earth
would I wear?"

Susan replies, "I'll make sure you have a wonderful custom-made
gown by the best designer in New York."

"Honey," Mom complains, "you know I can't eat those rich foods you
and your friends like to eat."

The President-to-be responds, "Don't worry Mom. The entire affair
is going to be handled by the best caterer in New York; kosher all
the way. Mom, I really want you to come."

So Mom reluctantly agrees and on January 20, 2021, Susan Goldstein
is being sworn in as President of the United States. In the front row
sits the new President's mother, who leans over to a Senator sitting
next to her and says, "You see that woman over there with her hand
on the Torah, becoming President of the United States?"

The Senator whispers back, "Yes, I do."

Mom says proudly, "Her brother is a doctor."

ITALIAN MOTHER
Giuseppe excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is
going to get married.

He says, "Just for fun, Mama, I'm going to bring over three women
and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."

The mother agrees.

The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house, sits
them down on the couch and they chat for a while.

He then says, "Okay, Mama, guess which one am I going to marry?"

Mama says immediately, "The one on the right."

"That's amazing, Mama. You're right. How did you know?"

Mama replies: "I don't like her."

AN IRISHMAN'S FIRST DRINK WITH HIS SON
I was reading an article last night about fathers and sons, and memories
came flooding back to the time I took my son out for his first drink.

Off we went to our local bar, which is only two blocks from the house.

I got him a Guinness Stout. He didn't like it – so I drank it. Then I
got him an Old Style. He didn't like it either, so I drank it. It was the
same with the Coors and the Bud. By the time we got down to the
Irish whiskey... I could hardly push the stroller back home.
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