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The somewhat shy and retiring Abie, who lives a bit southwest, sent
this one about a nun who plays golf...

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair.
She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

"What troubles you, Sister?" asked the Mother Superior .. "I thought
this was the day you spent with your family."

"It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with my brother.
You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to
Christ."

"I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your
day of recreation was not relaxing?"

"Far from it,"snorted the Sister. "In fact, I even took the Lord's name
in vain today!"

"Goodness, Sister!" gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. "You
must tell me all about it!"

"Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother
Superior - 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dog leg left and a hidden
green... and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest
swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the
line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight!"

"Oh my!" commiserated the Mother. "How unfortunate! But surely
that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!"

"No, that wasn't it," admitted Sister. "While I was still trying to
fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods,
grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!"

"Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!" sympathized the
Mother.

"But I didn't, Mother!" sobbed the Sister. "And I was so proud of
myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from
God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and
flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!"

"So that's when you cursed," said the Mother with a knowing smile.

"Nope, that wasn't it either," cried the Sister, anguished, "because
as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling,
and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball
popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!"

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her
chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said... "You missed
the f*ckin' putt, didn't you?"
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