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The somewhat shy and retiring Abie, who lives a bit southwest, sent this one on
his plan for a safe 2016...

I WANT TO BE SAFE so this New Year starting today.

I took down my Rebel flag (which you can't buy on e-bay any more) and peeled the
NRA sticker off the front door.

I disconnected my home alarm system and quit the candy-ass Neighborhood Watch.

I bought two Pakistani flags and put one at each corner of the front yard. Then I
purchased the black flag of ISIS (which you CAN buy on e-bay) and put it in the
CENTER of the yard.

Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and
other agencies are all watching the house 24/7.

I've NEVER felt safer and I'm saving $69.95 a month that ADT charged me.

Plus, I bought burkas for my family when we shop or travel. Everyone moves out of
the way and security can't pat us down.

Safe at last – only in USA!
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