The Chip Board
Custom Search
   


The Chip Board Archive 24

The One True Santay Clause (Long Post)

What would it be like if it were not for Saiaty Clause?

Well, here is the one, true explanation!

From the Marx Brothers film, "A Night at the Opera"

Grocho plays Otis B. Driftwood, a Lawyer of questionable repute.

Chico plays Fiorello, a manager of an aspiring Opera Singer.

Enjoy, and do NOT shoot the messenger.....

Grocho Marx as Otis B. Driftwood, trying to get Chico Marx as Fiorello to sign a contract:

[Driftwood agrees to read the contract to Fiorello]

Otis B. Driftwood: All right, I'll read it to you. Can you hear?

Fiorello: I haven't heard anything yet. Did you say anything?

Otis B. Driftwood: Well, I haven't said anything worth hearing.

Fiorello: Well, that's-a why I didn't hear anything.

Otis B. Driftwood: Well, that's why I didn't say anything.

Otis B. Driftwood: Now pay particular attention to this first clause because it's most important. It says the, uh..."The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part." How do you like that? That's pretty neat, eh?

Fiorello: No, that's no good.

Otis B. Driftwood: What's the matter with it?

Fiorello: I dunno. Let's hear it again.

Otis B. Driftwood: It says the, uh..."The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part."

Fiorello: That sounds a little better this time.

Otis B. Driftwood: Well, it grows on you. Would you like to hear it once more?

Fiorello: Er... just the first part.

Otis B. Driftwood: What do you mean? The... the party of the first part?

Fiorello: No, the first part of the party of the first part.

Otis B. Driftwood: All right. It says the, uh, "The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract..." look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?

Fiorello: Yeah. It's too long anyhow. Now what do we got left?

Otis B. Driftwood: I got about a foot and a half. Now, it says, uh, "The party of the second part shall be known in this contract as the party of the second part."

Fiorello: Well, I don't know about that...

Otis B. Driftwood: Now what's the matter?

Fiorello: I no like-a the second party, either.

Otis B. Driftwood: Well, you should of come to the first party. We didn't get home 'til around four in the morning. I was blind for three days!

Fiorello: Why can't the first part of the second party... be the second part of the first party? Then you got something.

Otis B. Driftwood: Look, rather than go through that again, what do you say...

Fiorello: Fine.

Otis B. Driftwood: I've got something you're bound to like.

Fiorello: You'll be crazy about it. No. I don't like it.

Otis B. Driftwood: You don't like what?

Fiorello: Whatever it is, I don't like it.

Otis B. Driftwood: Don't let's break up an old friendship over a thing like that. Ready?

Fiorello: Okay. The next part, I don't think you're going to like.

Otis B. Driftwood: Your word's good enough for me. Is my word good enough for you?

Fiorello: I should say not. That takes out two more clauses.

Otis B. Driftwood: "The party of the eighth part..."

Fiorello: No, that's no good.

Otis B. Driftwood: "The party of the ninth..."

Fiorello: No, that's no good, too. How is it my contract is skinnier than yours?

Otis B. Driftwood: I don't know, you must have been out on a tear last night.

Fiorello: We're all set now, aren't we?

Otis B. Driftwood: Sure. Just you put your name down there, and then the deal is legal.

Fiorello: I forgot to tell you, I can't write.

Otis B. Driftwood: That's all right, there's no ink in the pen. - But it's a contract, isn't it?

Fiorello: Sure.

Otis B. Driftwood: We've got a contract, no matter how small it is.

Fiorello: Wait. What does this say here?

Otis B. Driftwood: That? That's the usual clause. It's all right, that's in every contract. That's what they call a sanity clause.

Fiorello: [Fiorello laughs loudly] You can't fool me! There ain't no Santay Claus!

Messages In This Thread

The One True Santay Clause (Long Post)
I remember when it was good manners to say "long"

Copyright 2022 David Spragg