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A lawyer went duck hunting for the first time in Texas. He shot and
dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of the
fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove
up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, "I shot a duck, it fell into this field, and now
I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied, "This is my property and you are not coming
over here."

The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in
the US and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take
everything you own."

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we
do things in Texas. We settle small disagreements like this with the
Texas Three-Kick Rule."

The lawyer asked, "What is the Texas Three-Kick Rule?"

The Farmer replied, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you
kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives
up."

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided
that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the
local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up
to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot
into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick
nearly wiped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his
belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to
give up.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his
feet and said, "Okay, you old coot! Now, it's my turn!"

The old farmer smiled and said, "No, I give up. You can have the duck."
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