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Another one from the files of the shy and retiring Abie, on the subject
of the perfect man...

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.

He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just
like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank... he's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like
my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to
Frank every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the
Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an
opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star. And you should
have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was somebody really special."

Cabbie: "Oh there's more. He had a memory like a computer. He
remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which
foods to order, and which fork to eat it with, and he could fix just
about anything. Not like me - I change a fuse, and the whole street
blacks out. But Frank, he could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid
traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank,
he never made mistakes, and he really knew how to treat a woman and
make her feel good. He would never argue back, even if she was in the
wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished
too. He was the perfect man! I never knew him to make a mistake! No
one could ever measure up to Frank."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well. I never actually met Frank. He died, and I married his wife!"
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11 More Days 'Til Halloween