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From the files of the somewhat shy and retiring Abie, on the subject of
Sunday worship...

Jack goes to his friend Mike and says, "I've been having sex with the
minister's wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after the services
for me?"

Mike doesn't like it, but being a friend he agrees. After the services, Mike
starts talking to the minister, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just
to keep him occupied.

Finally the minister gets annoyed and asks Mike what he's really up to.

Mike, feeling quite guilty, finally confesses to the minister. "My friend is
having sex with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied."

The minister smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Mike's shoulder and says,
"You better hurry home. My wife died a year ago."
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13 More Days 'Til Halloween