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I received this one from both Abie and Dragnet, two gentlemen who live a bit
southwest...

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Baltimore Ravens. The only
thing missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even
the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could
ensure a Super Bowl win.

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank.
In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly
incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100
yards away. KABOOM!

He threw another hand grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney. KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph. BULLS-EYE!

"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect Arm!"

So, he brings him to the US and teaches him the great game of football. And the
Ravens go on to win the Super Bowl.

The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks
him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his Mother.

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"

"I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You are not my son!"

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've just won the
greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."

"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots
all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten
within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house
so she doesn't get raped!"

The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says: "I will never forgive you for making us
move to Baltimore!"

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