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Random Thoughts

~ I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!

~ Old age is coming at a really bad time!

~ When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment now, as a grown up, it
just feels like a small vacation!

~ The biggest lie I tell myself is: "I don't need to write that down I'll remember it."

~ Lord, grant me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to
change the things I can and the friends to post my bail when I finally snap!

~ I don't have gray hair. I have wisdom highlights. I'm very wise.

~ My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.

~ Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.

~ If God wanted me to touch my toes he would’ve put them on my knees.

~ The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter
than "yes”.

~ I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.

~ When did it change from "We the people" to "screw the people"?

~ I've lost my mind and I’m pretty sure my kids took it!

~ Even duct tape can't fix stupid but it can muffle the sound!

~ Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to
someone I can't understand anyway?

~ Lord, Give me patience and give it to me NOW.

~ Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

~ Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?

~ At my age "getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering why the
hell I went there.
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