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SENIOR COMPUTER SKILLS

The following is an excerpt from a Retirement Villages Newsletter, for your information
and benefit, as well as to put a smile on your face.

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one...
Tech support: Click on the my computer icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Each time I try, it says:
Can't find printer. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but
the computer still says he can't find it....

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech Support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No, I can't get behind the computer.
Tech Support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech Support:: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech Support:: That means the keyboard is not plugged in....

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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech Support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure I saw my colleague do it.
Tech Support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.

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Tech Support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech Support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer....

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer,
but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech Support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech Support: OK, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, there's the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle
around it?
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A woman customer called Canon help desk with a problem with her printer....

Tech Support:: Are you running it under windows?

Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in
the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

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Tech Support: " Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time.
That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up
the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech Support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech Support:: 'P'... on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
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