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The Chip Board Archive 24

grin NCR ~ Saturday Humor, August 8th...

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God help us all!

Washington DC Airport Ticket Agent (unbelievable)

A DC Airport ticket agent offers some examples of why the US is in so much trouble!

1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat
so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2. I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who
wanted to go to Cape Town. I started to explain the length of the flight and the
passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you
look stupid, but Cape Town is in Massachusetts ...''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is located in
Massachusetts, Cape Town is in South Africa ..''
His response? click..

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida
package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said
he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state.
He replied, 'Don't lie to me!, I looked on the map, and Florida is a very THIN state!!''
(OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked,''Is it possible to see
England from Canada ?'' I said, ''No.'' She said, ''But they look so close on the map''
(OMG, again!)

5. An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could
rent a car in Dallas ..I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour
layover in Dallas .
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big
airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6. An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to
know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to
Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she just couldn't
understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and
she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your
physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?''
I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage
that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing).
I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, Ca. is (FAT-Fresno Air Terminal),
and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage..

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to
Hawaii.
After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California
and then take the train to Hawaii?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Alabama,
who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number
is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do
I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola and fly on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11. Mary Landrieu, Louisiana Senator, called and had a question about the documents
she needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I
reminded her that she needed a visa.
"Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa.
When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time
they have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations,''I want
to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York .''
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''
"Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport
code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere." ''
The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't happen to
mean Buffalo, do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''

Now you know why the Government is in the shape it's in!

Could ANYONE be this DUMB? YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND
THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.

I did not write this. I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you just gotta
spread it around.

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Messages In This Thread

grin NCR ~ Saturday Humor, August 8th...
Re: grin NCR ~ Saturday Humor, August 8th...

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