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Abie, a somewhat shy and retiring gentleman who lives a bit southwest,
sent this on the subject what some retired people think about...

The Ramblings of A Retired Mind

- Today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses.
A young lady walks over to me and asks, "What brings you in today?"
I looked at her, and said, "I'm interested in buying a refrigerator."
She didn't quite know how to respond. Am I getting to be that age?

- I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell
phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't
afford one. So I'm wearing my garage door opener.

- You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that
people didn't like me anyway.

- I was thinking that women should put pictures of their missing
husbands on beer cans!

- I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you
still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.

- I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call
it: Pumping Rust.

- Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in
case of an emergency. I think you should write, "An ambulance."

- I was thinking about how people seem to read the Holy Bible a
whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me. They
were cramming for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping that
God grades on the curve.

- Birds of a feather flock together... and then crap on your car.

- The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy
a replacement.

- The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when
he's really in trouble.

- Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words The and
IRS together it spells Theirs.

- Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about
your age and start bragging about it.

- Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want
people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and
some of the roads weren't paved.

- You know you are getting old when everything either dries up
or leaks

- Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.

- When people see a cat's litter box they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?"
Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"

- Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
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